Saturday, December 26, 2020

Christmas

Ten days until surgery.

I got what I wanted for Christmas. I get to have surgery after the New Year and I got to spend Christmas with my kids. The only thing that would have made it better would have been to have my special someone with me, but Covid continues to delay that. He's worth the wait though.

The day was drama free for the most part which is a rarity for my family. The kids loved their gifts, and really loved the ones I got them, so I am ecstatic. 24 hours later and I'm still grinning.

I find myself staring at them or watching them and just soaking in all the moments I can. I feel surgery will go well but it has really made me slow down and look more around me and appreciate things. If I have learned nothing else from the experience I have definitely learned to take it a little slower and enjoy the little things.

Their father was no where to be found for another year in a row. I'm not surprised. He hasn't even spoken to them since October of 2018. He's pretty much abandoned them. I have accepted it and the kids are going to make their own decisions where he is concerned. Sabrina acts like she doesn't have a father at all.

I have never kept him from them or denied him access to them. This is his choice and he's going to have to live with it. As much as I hate the damage that he has done to them, I never bad mouth him to them. My friends hear all the insults I wish I could say. The kids will figure out what a selfish ass he is on their own.

I refuse to let him ruin my joy right now. I have a lot to be thankful for and two kids and a special man to love on and that's what I'm going to do. I hope your holidays have been great.

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